I dream of a dream

Asia
To see an Asian person in your dream, represents an aspect of your own self that is unknown to you.

Beating
To dream that you are beating someone, indicates that you are shoving your own views and opinions on others.

Night
To have a dream that takes place at night, represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. You are being faced with an issue that is not so clear cut. Perhaps, you should put the issues aside so you can clear your head and come back to it later. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth, reflection, and new beginnings.

Running
To dream that you are running alone, refers to your determination and motivation in the pursuit of your goals. You will find success and rise above those around you. Alternatively, the dream may mean that you need to hurry up in making a decision.

Source: http://www.dreammoods.com/

Tissue

I have a lot of issues in life, but I believe that I will get through with those. Just saying.

Bieber Fever

How can I love if I do not know how to love myself?

How can I take care if I do not know how to take care of myself?

How can I be purely proud of someone if I am not proud of myself?

How can I respect if I do not know how to respect myself?

It all boils down to the word "myself".

Sometimes, being self-centered is also being selfless.

Good night.

Let Me Try

So, I've been liking the posts of notestomyfuturegirlfriend.tumblr.com lately. I want to have someone right now, or maybe I just miss the feeling of actually having someone. As much as I want to have a girlfriend right now, I don't think it will work out. Why? Because there are a lot of things that I have to fix. Most specifically, my life. But if God let's me meet someone, then why not right?

So, let me try writing a letter to my future girlfriend (although I'm really not in the mood to be all poetic or anything... Sorry)

Dear Future Girlfriend,

Hey. So, lately, I've been missing the feeling of having someone. I'm kind of punishing myself with jealousy for watching cute couples on Youtube and watching Tasha and Jenna cuddle with each other on their recorded video on Ustream. I even searched your face on girlswholikegirls.tumblr.com. How desperate can I get, right? I wish to cuddle with you right now.

Okaaaay. That's not the whole point though, let me get my thoughts straight.

I want us to be like best friends, we can joke around each other, play silly games, calling each other "bitch", "nigga", or "faggot" but at the same time, we can be all sweet and mushy. I can imagine myself teasing you and you'd make that sad face then you'd fake mad at me then I'd "win" you back by saying "sorry, babe" then kissing you then we'd cuddle again (and vice-versa). I want to sleep beside you, I want you resting your head on my arm and I'd embrace you so you won't feel cold. I want to wake up seeing your face. I want to hold your hand and play with it. I want to kiss you whenever I can. I want you to feel like a princess when you're with me. I will treat you like one, I promise. I will always make you smile and make you laugh. I will never hurt you on purpose, and if ever I do, I am really sorry and I will not do it again. Ever.

Simple joys with you, that's all I want and need.

I just want a carefree relationship with you. Yes, I can be an asshole, and you can be a whore. But fuck that, we'll make it through. Yeah?

Wherever you are, whoever you are, I hope you're thinking of "your future girlfriend" too, which is me (duh).

I'll wait for you. Wait for me too. :)

I love you so much, beautiful.

Abbie

P.S. I have a short tongue but I'm good at kissing ;)

P.P.S Please don't let it happen again (@my previous relationship) :( That sucks. :(

See? I told you, that was not creative. At all. Boo. Haha. I don't really care though, because words can't really explain what a person can feel (I don't even know what I'm saying but I hope you get me). If I were to ask if I want my ex back, answer is no. No, because I got fed up with everything and if we do it again (our relationship), for sure, the past will hunt me and that will be the cause of misunderstandings and whatnot. I think about her everyday, yes, but not in the sense that I want to win her back or anything.

Okay, this is too much.

Bottom line is: I want a girlfriend right now. :-( Or maybe I just miss having someone. Fuck that. Fuck the world. Akhskfhasljkhfalhfasjhf

Game Plan

Losing is just part of "The Game" (it may be an actual game or life in general, doesn't matter). You may take it as something that will pull you down and make you suffer OR take it as something that will pull you up and strive for victory.

Choose wisely.

Good night.

RANTING

So, last night, I was watching the news and they interviewed this priest about LGBTP community. He says something like, "Binababa niyo ang dignidad niyo bilang tao" or in English, "You're destroying your own dignity"

Got pissed.

Then, just minutes ago, my Dad kept on nagging me to go attend mass with him with my nephew and niece, and I'm like "No..." then he kind of exploded and shit.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Why am I going to go to that place if the people there doesn't accept me for who I am or what I am? I mean, yes, I believe in God and I believe that He loves me but no, I am not going to go to the mass and pretend that I'm okay with it.

That Should Be Me

...holding your hands.

So, everybody's having their girlfriends and now I'm a jealous hopeless romantic lesbian. I know, I've been single for only 2/3 months but it just makes me really jealous. I miss the feeling of having someone. I miss the feeling of getting into a relationship and the feeling it gives you -- new, fresh, ecstatic. Call me a spoiled brat for all I care but damn, this is just something that kajshgfdajhsdgf. Ugh, I can't even explain. The last time I felt this was 2 years ago and I must say, I hate it. I hate what it gives me. Damn, I need a girlfriend now.

I'm sad. Really sad. :( Future girlfriend, come find me now, please? Or let's meet halfway? Deal? Deal. I love you.