Let Me Try

So, I've been liking the posts of notestomyfuturegirlfriend.tumblr.com lately. I want to have someone right now, or maybe I just miss the feeling of actually having someone. As much as I want to have a girlfriend right now, I don't think it will work out. Why? Because there are a lot of things that I have to fix. Most specifically, my life. But if God let's me meet someone, then why not right?

So, let me try writing a letter to my future girlfriend (although I'm really not in the mood to be all poetic or anything... Sorry)

Dear Future Girlfriend,

Hey. So, lately, I've been missing the feeling of having someone. I'm kind of punishing myself with jealousy for watching cute couples on Youtube and watching Tasha and Jenna cuddle with each other on their recorded video on Ustream. I even searched your face on girlswholikegirls.tumblr.com. How desperate can I get, right? I wish to cuddle with you right now.

Okaaaay. That's not the whole point though, let me get my thoughts straight.

I want us to be like best friends, we can joke around each other, play silly games, calling each other "bitch", "nigga", or "faggot" but at the same time, we can be all sweet and mushy. I can imagine myself teasing you and you'd make that sad face then you'd fake mad at me then I'd "win" you back by saying "sorry, babe" then kissing you then we'd cuddle again (and vice-versa). I want to sleep beside you, I want you resting your head on my arm and I'd embrace you so you won't feel cold. I want to wake up seeing your face. I want to hold your hand and play with it. I want to kiss you whenever I can. I want you to feel like a princess when you're with me. I will treat you like one, I promise. I will always make you smile and make you laugh. I will never hurt you on purpose, and if ever I do, I am really sorry and I will not do it again. Ever.

Simple joys with you, that's all I want and need.

I just want a carefree relationship with you. Yes, I can be an asshole, and you can be a whore. But fuck that, we'll make it through. Yeah?

Wherever you are, whoever you are, I hope you're thinking of "your future girlfriend" too, which is me (duh).

I'll wait for you. Wait for me too. :)

I love you so much, beautiful.

Abbie

P.S. I have a short tongue but I'm good at kissing ;)

P.P.S Please don't let it happen again (@my previous relationship) :( That sucks. :(

See? I told you, that was not creative. At all. Boo. Haha. I don't really care though, because words can't really explain what a person can feel (I don't even know what I'm saying but I hope you get me). If I were to ask if I want my ex back, answer is no. No, because I got fed up with everything and if we do it again (our relationship), for sure, the past will hunt me and that will be the cause of misunderstandings and whatnot. I think about her everyday, yes, but not in the sense that I want to win her back or anything.

Okay, this is too much.

Bottom line is: I want a girlfriend right now. :-( Or maybe I just miss having someone. Fuck that. Fuck the world. Akhskfhasljkhfalhfasjhf